Relationships

January is a killer month in the northern hemisphere! Not only do more people die this month but so do more marriages, partnerships and indeed relationships of all kinds.

Its that time of year when the stress and strain of yet another family christmas adds to our already stressed existence and we can soon find ourselves pushed to our limits.

We have been struggling all year to keep it together and then comes Christmas, into which we put so much hope and effort that even a small incident can ballon into a major event. Parents fighting with children, siblings with siblings and partners being pushed to overload. Add to that a bout of flu or a mishap and often the strain on a partnership that is already in trouble is simply too much and it ..just implodes. An argument that at any other time of the year may have been a normal squabble and easily overcome, can turn into a slanging match like no other, where insults and hurtful comments abound. The type of argument that just pushes us to the point of no return.

Family feuds also tend to erupt over the holiday with many fracturing seemingly beyond repair. January can be a sad time of year for sure.

So what can we do about it? How do we stop the inevitable? How do we survive the post Christmas fall out? How do we survive January?

Well I am not sure we can avoid it all, but I think we can certainly lessen the severity of the problems with a little planning and insight.

Along with all the rushing around preparing for the Christmas holiday (which is exhausting for most of us), we also need to be aware that in the northern hemisphere we are in the midsts of winter we are cold and *sun deprived! This leads to a multitude of very physical issues such as depression, decreased immunity and disease. Add to that the fact that we tend to eat and drink too much of the wrong things over the holiday and you have a receipt for disaster waiting to happen.

However, before we go slamming doors and packing suitcases, I feel we need to take time out. Time to get ourselves back to normal. Try not to act on that argument now, sit with it for a while and remember that the other person was probably also in a stressed place.

TAKE A BREATH! and let things settle.

Making life decisions in January is not a good idea, you are not yourself right now and you may just regret it for the rest of your life!

So don’t have that conversation yet, get back to eating & drinking healthy; start taking *D3 now (it will improve your mood believe me); catch up on sleep; get some fresh air when ever you can.

Get to that place where you feel like you are in control again.

Then and only then, should you begin to look back at that row and decide if it really was as bad as it felt at the time. Arrange to talk about it, tell the other person(s) how it made you feel or why you said what you did, admit if you were wrong and apologise for any hurtful comments.

If you are going to break up then let it be for the right reasons, not because you both said or did hurtful things at a time when you were not at your best. If you cant have that conversation, try writing it or think about getting professional help.

Ideally a relationship should not end with the slamming of doors AND not in January!

Good luck
Coach Lin

* D3 which our skin absorbs from the sun helps to keep us upbeat as well as improving our bones & immunity. For more on D3

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