“How Can Coaching Help Me?”
This is a question I hear often from callers to my App Help Line, it’s usually one of the first things people ask. Some have tried counselling or a therapist in the past and cannot see how coaching may differ or get them results.
“Dont we need to be face to face?” – Is the next question, usually followed by
“How do I know if you are any good?” – So here are a few answers :-
Coaching differs from other forms of therapy in several very important ways.
Coaching is not NOT about your past, it’s about moving forward, so coaches do not spend lots of time trying to identify psychological problems or to diagnose conditions. We may need a general idea of what has happened or of who you are, so we have a better idea of what has already been tried and what was successful or not. We also do NOT write prescriptions or diagnose any conditions, ever! We are not here to label or judge you but to assist you in your endeavour or aid you to solve your problem.
Coaches use carefully crafted questions and fine tuned listening skills to help you find your own answers. We do not tell you what to do or how to do it, we guide you to your own solutions. This way, as a plan of action unfolds, it is likely to succeed because YOU are the one mapping it out. A coach then helps you to keep on track or adjust your plan as necessary.
We do not need to be able to see you to help you. In fact I find it better to have voice only sessions with my clients as this enables me to HEAR the things that arent being said, better. Subtle tones in a voice or hesitation in answers, can mean a lot to a trained coach and this gives me an indication of what questions need to be asked next. Asking the right questions is a huge part of being a good coach.
So how do you know, if I am a good coach or indeed the right coach for you?
Well you can goggle me or check out my website, where there is a lot of information about me and some client testimonials. If you need more go to my Cancer Blog, but ultimately it’s probably a trial and error situation. If you are not happy after the first session, then you do not need to do more. I do not require my clients to pay upfront for weeks or months in advance, and I also will refund you if you are truly unhappy (although I have never had to do this yet). I have also found that coaching can be successful in just a few sessions, with the average being around 6. Not the months on end that many seem to feel is needed. I will also allow pay as you go coaching sessions so you don’t have to pre book your time months in advance. As long as we can find a slot when you need it, you’re in.
- No judgment or character assignation
- Help to find your own Answers
- Convenient, just pick up the phone, IM or Skype.
- Usually does not take months to achieve success
- Can use Pay As You Go no need to pre schedule
- Client Testimonials for piece of mind
- First session refundable, if not happy.
Make 2016 the Year You Make The Change.
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The Dream is but the beginning!
I was recently copied on this picture which compares objects of imagination with the later realities of our world.
At the time, these fantasized technological devices were seen as far fetched and indeed many of us who followed this popular TV show from its inception, were teased and generally laughed at for being gullible………..Not so much any more.
There are in fact still people who scoff and sneer at such dreams, seeing them as fanciful and a waste of time…….I am Not one of these.
I truly believe that Dreaming BIG, imagining what you want to exists, will without doubt facilitate its existence.
This may be something as grand as Time Travel or as simple as a running water in your home.
It matters not what you dream, only that you dream and that you believe it possible. The how is not important either, because you don't know what you don't know yet & the how may be just around the corner.
So my challenge to you today is to let your imagination run wild, dream of something that you truly want to happen or see exist, believe in its inevitability …AND somehow, somewhere, someone will, in the words of Jean-Luc Picard “make it so”!
(Picture courtesy of 'I Fucking Love Science' on Facebook)
Jan 1 Goal Setting, Is It Worth It?
Not, if you are doing it out of some sort of quilt or sense of obligation. In fact you can almost guarantee failure if this is your motivation and unfortunately this tends to be the driving factor behind most New Years resolutions.
We feel we should because we ate too much over the holiday or because it’s what we are supposed to do on Jan 1.
But I say this year dont bother!
Why? Well, because few succeed and failure is not a good way to start a new year. ”
Instead make a promise to yourself to revisit the whole goal setting thing at a later date and book mark it in your calendar.
Goals are only achievable if you truly WANT to succeed AND are ready to commit.
Trying to quit smoking because you ‘think you should’ is never going to work….you have to be at a place where you really, really want to stop and only then will it work. No amount of gadgets or aides or personal coaches are going to help you succeed if you don’t actually want to. Its domed from the start.
So the only goal worth setting right now, is to set that reminder.
When you reminder pops up in say March or April (I like April for this as spring is in the air and we tend to feel rejuvenated), then is the time to sit down and really think about it. Take a good look at your life and where it is heading ….
- Is it going where you want it to? If not, why?
- How can you get it on track?
- What is not working?
- What is working?
- What do you WANT, not what you need or think you should do but what you want.
- Write your ideas down as notes (‘post its’ are great for this), just brainstorm them for now, dont hold back, let your heart guide you here
Once you have done this, leave them for a few days and let them all exist for now.
When you revisit them, start to look for patterns, ways in which one idea might help achieve another, for example getting fit would be assisted by quitting smoking. Sort them into themes.
Now you can start to actually format them into goals, or a life plan as I like to call it……..some short term goals, some long . . some small steps some bigger ones that may take you out of your comfort zone. All however heading towards what you actually WANT……. Then and only then, will you stand a chance of success.
And remember to keep in mind my golden rule 🙂 All goals should be changeable!!
You can revisit this plan and update or change it when ever you want.
It is after all YOUR life plan, no one elses and should be as adaptable as you are.
(and if you have a particular goal that you really want but still can’t seem to accomplish on your own, this would be the time to look into finding a coach or selp help workshop, to help get you there).