Helping Hand – Life Coaching


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Motivation – What Yours?

I’ve been pondering the meaning of the word MOTIVATION.

What motivates an F1 driver to risk their life to drive a car fast, or an athlete to push that bit harder in training? What gets a working mum/mom through her more than hectic day or gets a disabled person out of bed in the morning?  We might say that they are all Motivated but is this the same thing for each of them?

Certainly we can group motivators into categories, for example the F1 driver and the Athlete may both be driven by their competitive need to be the best, but the athlete may also want to be the fittest and the driver the fastest. The mother may be motivated by income / career or the desire to be the best mother in the world & the disabled person by the need to prove everyone wrong.

This one word seems to cover a whole world of thoughts and feelings, all of them different in each of us.

Clearly, we all have intricate and different needs or desires we need to acknowledge, in order to be able to switch our motivation ON.  Finding them, is not always easy because we also like to feel good about our motivators and the truth is, they are not always things we will admit to.

Sometimes our motivation is in conflict with our morals. 

Continue reading “Motivation – What Yours?”

Relationship On The Rocks? 7 Questions To Ask Yourself.

Should i go or should i stay now?

Relationships should not be constant hard work!

If you are finding that every interaction has you working hard to make sure you don’t say or do the wrong thing, or that you are constantly trying to find ways to please your partner? Then it may just be time to stop!

Partnerships should be fun, loving, caring & trusting.

Yes relationships need work from time to time, but not continually! If you are in constant work mode in your relationship, then you really don’t have one, you have a job! An exhausting one at that. Continue reading “Relationship On The Rocks? 7 Questions To Ask Yourself.”

How To Keep Your Man

Relationship or Dictatorship?

So you found him, hooked him and now you just have to hang on to him. Isn’t that how girls are supposed to think?………...NO?

Then, how come in this supposedly enlightened age, I hear from so many young women who are thinking and acting this way?

Why is it young women feel its up to them to make the sacrifices in a relationship?  Why do they feel its up to them to adjust, give up their friends and family, give up going out socially, wear what they are told and absolutely NEVER ever look in the direction of another man?

For many young women it seems anything goes when it comes to keeping their man.  They will quite literally do all they can to hang on to him……what ever the situation.

Its seem to matter not how this man is actually treating them, as long as they can call him “my man” its okay. They will forgive him any and everything. Prostrate themselves and endure all manner of abuse in order to keep him……….why?

Of course some would say there is probably a psychological reason for this behaviour relating to their families or upbringing but I feel its deeper than that. This submissive behaviour cannot all be written off as an “abused past or childhood experience”, it seems more widespread than that.

There seems to be a deep-seated inadequacy. No matter how loud these women may talk, no matter how educated they may get or how high they climb the corporate ladder, many young women still expect to have to bend to the will of their man; AND, once they have him, they will do whatever it takes to keep him.

So what do I say when asked “How do I keep my man from leaving?”

I reply “First you have to find him, and to do this, you have to find yourself”!

You need to have a strong sense of self. To know what you think and feel about major issues, from rearing children to taxes. Because to move forward with a man you need to either think alike or be able to discuss your differences and agree on an outcome, without anyone feeling trampled on.

Neither of you should ever feel afraid to express your opinion, because if you are, that is how YOU begin to lose the relationship and yourself.

If you are in a relationship that is slowly taking away all that is you, then it is not a healthy relationship and no matter how frightening, how terrified of being on your own you may be, you must leave it. There is simply no future in any relationship that requires one of the parties to change who they are or live in a fearful way!

Yes there are adjustments to make, things to get used to about each other but if you are being over ruled all the time or feel you no longer have an opinion or are being manipulated, then its time to get out!

The number 1 rule for any relationship is:-

Both parties must have the freedom to regulate their own behaviour!

Without this, you do not have a Relationship, you have a Dictatorship.

So instead of asking how you keep your man………….ask yourself….“Do I want to keep him and why?”

Coach Lin

Note: I am a certified life coach who has been with her husband for 39 years. I have two children and five grandchildren, so have leant much about keeping relationships alive and well. If you are in need of help, please contact me. I can help:-

Free eBook on Chemo


Hi Peeps, just want to update you on whats happening over on my Walk Away From Cancer Site.

I release a Free eBook titled Tips on Surviving Chemotherapy this week, which contains some things I learnt on my journey through the dreaded Hell that is Cancer Treatment.

Anyway its being downloaded, right now by people from all over so if you know anyone about to enter into the nightmare of Chemotherapy & Cancer Treatments, then please go grab a copy …………remember its FREE.

Its available at

Have a great weekend
Free eBook on Chemotherapy




Coach Lin

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