Helping Hand – Life Coaching

How to Leave the Past Behind!

It is not uncommon for people to turn to a life coach for help in moving forward because they feel stuck and unable to motivate themselves.  More often than not their current impasse is rooted in an incident in their past and it is anchoring them emotionally to that reality.

The first thing we will have to work on together, is identifying that root cause and finding a way to free the negative emotional ties to that event.  Most will know what it is but simply can’t let it go.  It’s a nagging feeling of hurt, anger or humiliation, which at the time was powerful enough to imprint on them to such an extent, it’s always near the surface ready to colour the current situation.

As humans we forget most of our daily thoughts, we would go insane if we did not, however when its attached to a powerful feeling, it can stay with us…..we remember events that have strong feelings attached, the most.

So we need to change HOW WE FEEL about that negative event.

  • Initially I might ask a client WHY they feel they need to let go of this?  Knowing your reasons for needing to free yourself of this anchor, is an important motivator.
  • Then HOW would you be different, if you no longer had this negative feeling holding on to you and your decisions?
  • Followed by WHAT will it be like to live FREE of this?


Once you can identify the above, it is much easier to start to implement the more practical daily steps towards a more positive emotional you.


Coach Lin

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Fault Versus Responsibility

Totally agree. And knowing the difference is vital to growth.

Alternate Dimension

I just heard an amazing speech given by Will Smith and I wanted to share here. It resonated with me, so I thought maybe it will resonate with you as well.

There is a clear distinction to make between fault and responsibility.

It’s not your fault if you were sexually molested or emotionally abused as a kid. But it is your responsibility to make sure you figure out how to overcome the trauma as an adult.

It is not your  fault if someone cheated on you or left you. But it’s your responsibility to mend your heart and get over the situation.

It’s not your fault if you got fired, but again it’s your responsibility to figure out how you’re going to make ends meet.

It’s not your fault if you are sick, but it is your responsibility to heal and get better.

Any circumstance of misfortune is not your…

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Grand Parenting Vs Parenting.

Grand Parenting VS Parenting

Everyone needs ONE person in their life that supports them, NO MATTER WHAT!  

That one person who will provide comfort, have your back & who can stand up to the rest of your family and friends, including your parents. 

Grandparents should be the primary harbour for runaways, a safe place to run to, a place of absolute love, no judgement and lots of comfort foods 🙂 

Well thats how I see it, although I am not sure all agree.  

I had a discussion today with a friend who does not have grandchildren yet and she was of the opinion that it is the grandparents role to support the parents in all and every topic. Where as I believe good grandparents should support the child first and facilitate communication with parents.  

Children and their parents come into conflict, its a normal part of bringing up a child, which is a Parents responsibility. But Grandparents do not have that responsibility

Grandparents can enhance the child’s life in a different way

We do not have to constantly be trying to mold or direct, we can simply BE with them and enjoy them as they are. This is a truly unique opportunity for both child and grandparent and should not be sullied with the chore of parenting. 

What do you think? 

Coach Lin Nana to 5 beautiful boys. 

The Secret to Success is NO Secret!

The secret of success, is that, it is no secret.

We all know intuitively how to succeed we have simply let the world suffocate this wisdom. We have become accustomed to hearing what others tell us and letting these words guide our choices. Making decisions based on social pressure and someone else’s truth. The result of this, is a world full of lost souls trying to make their lives work against overwhelming odds and indeed their own inner self.

It is no surprise to me that so many people are seriously ill, depressed, or suffering from anxiety and stress. Taking the wrong path through your life, is a constant strain on your body and mind, even if you are not aware of it yet, problems will arise.

How many of you have asked yourselves the questions?

  • “What am I doing here?”
  • “Why am I doing this job I hate?”
  • “Why do I stay in this relationship?”
    Or the classic
  • “What’s my purpose in life?”.

The answer is simple, the solution more difficult.

Clearly you got to this place by making decisions that were not right for you! So the answer is to ‘make better decisions’. However to do that, you must first find yourself again.

The Solution is to begin the process of getting back in touch with who YOU are, so you can listen to your own wisdom. NO one on this planet can tell you what that is, your wisdom is yours alone and when heeded, your life will begin to fall into place as you take the path YOU were meant to.

When you are on the right path, decisions are easy, effortless in fact, things just slot into place as they should.

Getting on this road is not easy for most of us, we tend to have a lot invested in our current way of ‘being’ in the world; our very character may have been moulded by our choices so far. Finding the real you tucked away deep under the camouflage can take a little bit of time and effort but once you do…..its like being given back the keys to your real life.

My goal for this 60th year of my life, is to help as many people as I can find their way back, so :-

IF you are struggling in an unhappy place?
IF you can no longer take the ride your life has become?
IF you are ready to take up the challenge of change…..?

Then I hope your next step is towards me, because together we are strong! Together, you too can succeed.








Cocooning – What Is It & Why Do I Need It?


As a life coach I am often presented with clients who are paralyzed by indecision and overwhelmed by stress. The words “I don’t know who I am any more“, or “I cant seem to make even the simplest of decisions” are frequently uttered.  People are loosing their way and their identity at a rate I have not seen before.  Divorce, Job loss, Work Stress, Home Stress all contributing to an overload that is breaking us.

People are lost!

So what can we do & how do we get back to a more sustainable life style?

As an insect may wrap itself in a silky case to protect its pupae stage, then so too can humans. When a time for reflection or quite is needed or when change is forced upon us, cocooning allows us the time and safety to selfishly hide away.  Here we can process what is happening to us and allow ourselves the time to adjust.

Cocooning is every bit as important to us as it is to the insect.

newborn-1584746_1920From the very first time we were wrapped in a cosy blanket, cocooning us in a protected bubble of love, we have had a desire to return to this when ever we are worried, sick or scared. Snuggling up in a soft blanket on the sofa, or snuggling down in a feather filled quit is without doubt comforting to us all but for some reason, we often feel guilty when we take the time to do this.   As if it is a pleasure we have not earned or deserve.

Well I disagree with this thinking.

I believe we all need to feel safe, we all need to feel protected and sometimes we absolutely need it for our sanity and mental health.  I feel cocooning in times of need is a vital and important part of healing and the difference between coping and not coping.

I help many of my clients to find their way and often we start with a process of cocooning that I call Finding You.   It is an easy process, requires no great skill or expense and begins the process to get back in touch with who we are……..

And like the butterfly, Cocooning enables us to move on to the next stage of our lives, stronger, more beautiful and with confidence in our choices.butterfly-1218884_1920


Please accept this small gift to help you on your road to self discovery.

When you are ready to feel whole again, to feel in control again or dare I say HAPPY again. Please email me and I will teach you how to continue down this road……………..because you deserve it!

Also read Doing a Shirley Valentine The ultimate cocoon time.

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