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Cocooning – What Is It & Why Do I Need It?

THE DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF COCOON IS ‘SOMETHING THAT ENVELOPS SOMEONE IN A PROTECTIVE OR COMFORTING WAY.

As a life coach I am often presented with clients who are paralyzed by indecision and overwhelmed by stress. The words “I don’t know who I am any more“, or “I cant seem to make even the simplest of decisions” are frequently uttered.  People are loosing their way and their identity at a rate I have not seen before.  Divorce, Job loss, Work Stress, Home Stress all contributing to an overload that is breaking us.

People are lost!

So what can we do & how do we get back to a more sustainable life style?

As an insect may wrap itself in a silky case to protect its pupae stage, then so too can humans. When a time for reflection or quite is needed or when change is forced upon us, cocooning allows us the time and safety to selfishly hide away.  Here we can process what is happening to us and allow ourselves the time to adjust.

Cocooning is every bit as important to us as it is to the insect.

newborn-1584746_1920From the very first time we were wrapped in a cosy blanket, cocooning us in a protected bubble of love, we have had a desire to return to this when ever we are worried, sick or scared. Snuggling up in a soft blanket on the sofa, or snuggling down in a feather filled quit is without doubt comforting to us all but for some reason, we often feel guilty when we take the time to do this.   As if it is a pleasure we have not earned or deserve.

Well I disagree with this thinking.

I believe we all need to feel safe, we all need to feel protected and sometimes we absolutely need it for our sanity and mental health.  I feel cocooning in times of need is a vital and important part of healing and the difference between coping and not coping.

I help many of my clients to find their way and often we start with a process of cocooning that I call Finding You.   It is an easy process, requires no great skill or expense and begins the process to get back in touch with who we are……..

And like the butterfly, Cocooning enables us to move on to the next stage of our lives, stronger, more beautiful and with confidence in our choices.butterfly-1218884_1920

 

Please accept this small gift to help you on your road to self discovery.

When you are ready to feel whole again, to feel in control again or dare I say HAPPY again. Please email me and I will teach you how to continue down this road……………..because you deserve it!

Also read Doing a Shirley Valentine The ultimate cocoon time.

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Why Super Woman Must Die!

YES you read that right, its time for Super-Woman to disappear forever!

I am sitting here, a 59 year old #Life Coach, #Cancer #Survivor and wondering to myself, how the hell I get through to all the young women out there in their 30’s and 40’s who are trying to be Super-Woman?  I personally know lots of them and in most cases they are all chasing the illusion that they can indeed be Super Woman and that they can indeed have it all…….which of course it total rubbish!

How do I know its rubbish?

Continue reading “Why Super Woman Must Die!” →

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Motivation – What Yours?

I’ve been pondering the meaning of the word MOTIVATION.

What motivates an F1 driver to risk their life to drive a car fast, or an athlete to push that bit harder in training? What gets a working mum/mom through her more than hectic day or gets a disabled person out of bed in the morning?  We might say that they are all Motivated but is this the same thing for each of them?

Certainly we can group motivators into categories, for example the F1 driver and the Athlete may both be driven by their competitive need to be the best, but the athlete may also want to be the fittest and the driver the fastest. The mother may be motivated by income / career or the desire to be the best mother in the world & the disabled person by the need to prove everyone wrong.

This one word seems to cover a whole world of thoughts and feelings, all of them different in each of us.

Clearly, we all have intricate and different needs or desires we need to acknowledge, in order to be able to switch our motivation ON.  Finding them, is not always easy because we also like to feel good about our motivators and the truth is, they are not always things we will admit to.

Sometimes our motivation is in conflict with our morals. 

Continue reading “Motivation – What Yours?” →

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“How Can Coaching Help Me?”

This is a question I hear often from callers to my App Help Line, it’s usually one of the first things people ask. Some hImageave tried counselling or a therapist in the past and cannot see how coaching may differ or get them results.

“Dont we need to be face to face?”   –  Is the next question, usually followed by

“How do I know if you are any good?”  – So here are a few answers :-

Coaching differs from other forms of therapy in several very important ways.

Coaching is not NOT about your past, it’s about moving forward, so coaches do not spend lots of time trying to identify psychological problems or to diagnose conditions.  We may need a general idea of what has happened or of who you are, so we have a better idea of what has already been tried and what was successful or not.  We also do NOT write prescriptions or diagnose any conditions, ever!  We are not here to label or judge you but to assist you in your endeavour or aid you to solve your problem.

Coaches use carefully crafted questions and fine tuned listening skills to help you find your own answers.  We do not tell you what to do or how to do it, we guide you to your own solutions.  This way, as a plan of action unfolds, it is likely to succeed because YOU are the one mapping it out.  A coach then helps you to keep on track or adjust your plan as necessary.

We do not need to be able to see you to help you. In fact I find it better to have voice only sessions with my clients as this enables me to HEAR the things that arent being said, better. Subtle tones in a voice or hesitation in answers, can mean a lot to a trained coach and this gives me an indication of what questions need to be asked next. Asking the right questions is a huge part of being a good coach. 

HOGlargebanner

So how do you know, if I am a good coach or indeed the right coach for you?

Well you can goggle me or check out my website, where there is a lot of information about me and some client testimonials.  If you need more go to my Cancer Blog, but ultimately it’s probably a trial and error situation. If you are not happy after the first session, then you do not need to do more.  I do not require my clients to pay upfront for weeks or months in advance, and I also will refund you if you are truly unhappy (although I have never had to do this yet).  I have also found that coaching can be successful in just a few sessions, with the average being around 6. Not the months on end that many seem to feel is needed.  I will also allow pay as you go coaching sessions so you don’t have to pre book your time months in advance. As long as we can find a slot when you need it, you’re in.

So to recap:- YOU GETManOnCell

  • No judgment or character assignation
  • Help to find your own Answers
  • Convenient, just pick up the phone, IM or Skype.
  • Usually does not take months to achieve success
  • Can use Pay As You Go no need to pre schedule
  • Client Testimonials for piece of mind
  • First session refundable, if not happy.

Make 2016 the Year You Make The Change.

Contact Me Now!

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A Post from my Cancer Blog worth Sharing.

IF I Could Turn Back Time?

http://wp.me/p36wTk-hg

If I Could Turn BackTime?

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Making Decisions – Are You Any Good?

How Can Coaching Help Me?

If in doubt…………….then don’t!

I can still hear my grandmother uttering these words as she was explaining to us ‘young un’s’, how to tell if something was naughty or not.  “If” she would say, “you feel something is not quite right or it makes you feel icky in any way, then DONT DO IT!!”

Grandmother was born and raised in another time, one where respect for rules and manners were of the highest importance. She would think nothing of washing your mouth out with soap (very unpleasant), if you broke any of them and this included such things as a disrespectful glance or shrug.

You simply did what my grandmother said…………no questions asked.

If in doubt…………….then don’t!

Is as true for adults as it is children.  We all have that little nagging thought of doubt when we are doing something we know we probably shouldnt…….right?

We can have doubt over important decisions ‘should I change job?’  ‘should I have a baby?’ or everyday small ones; you know the little internal conversations we have with ourselves when we are buying something we can’t really afford, or having another helping of pie we really don’t need.

Doubt is in our genetics, it is honed in our childhoods and evolves via our experiences throughout our lives. It is our protector, our moral compass and guide.  It helps us navigate this complicated social world with as little harm as possible.

I know for some people struggling with a decision; it is hard to know if it is doubt stopping them or fear? …………….However I feel generally, that fear can stem from doubt & doubt from fear, so really they are basically the same. Something deep in your sub-conscience is warning you, to not proceed……..!

If in doubt…………….then don’t!

Some of us suppress doubt better than others and proceed anyway.

In fact some people are so good at suppressing, that it’s as if they no longer have a conscience at all. But for most of us, we know when we have crossed our line and as a result, we will feel guilt, which is the real punisher AND make no mistake, Guilt can ruin lives and Guilt can Kill!

(Guilt can lead to additions, self loathing and even suicide).

Of course there is always a time when we need to override our instincts, to ignore the doubt or update the parameters but do so knowingly. Being aware that you are crossing your line, even if it’s a small one, is the difference between conscious decision and the inevitable…………guilt.

If in doubt…………….then don’t!

I have found these 5 little words have helped me to make the right choices big or small, in my life and importantly, at the right time (not to mention avoid the carbolic soap).:) So next time you hear that little tap, tap, tap of nagging doubt, give it an airing; listen to yourself and if you find you have no reason to negate this doubt, heed it and know that:-

When there is NO doubt, it is indeed the right thing to do and the right time to do it!

Coach Lin

Making Decisions with Coach Lin

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