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email coaching……….really?

When I first decided to try coaching via email or indeed Instant Messaging, I was not sure how it would work out.  But I wanted to reach a global audience and this seemed like the best way to do so.  To cut a long story short, it has been an amazing success!  ManKite

Not only has it allowed me to truly offer a Global Coaching Service but it has allowed people who would not normally have access to help and advice, to get it! Right from their smartphone.

For example a man wrote to me saying his family was on the verge of breaking up and he did not know what to do? He has tried everything he could think of, with no luck . He gave me details of his situation and I soon saw where the problem may lay.  It took just one email from me, with a suggestion I thought he had overlooked, to get them back on track. He wrote saying “I know she is frustrated that I didn’t understand before but it’s already starting to go uphill again 🙂 thank you so much for all your help“. 

 

womanclosesign

Or a young mother who came to me at a time when she wanted to ‘start a business‘ and she was having issues with family over her plan and was very disillusioned. Again I was able to make a few suggestions that prompted her to write back saying “Well, I’m happy to say that you were right about my Mom and Dad, bang on! With this issue out of the way, she was able to make a plan and get on with what she really wanted to do.  This took just 3 emails to achieve.

I am not saying that I have all the answers…………but I do have one thing these people didn’t, an outside perspective.

 With today’s more Global world and the break-up of the extended family, we are all finding ourselves adrift somewhat. Where once we could run to grandmother for help and advice, we no longer can. So where do we find that person who will not only listen to us but also help us solve our problems.? Where can we find another being who wants to and can actually help, without breaking the bank?

Well my name is Lin, I am a Wife, Mother, Nana & Life Coach & I am here ready to help you turn that frown into a SMILE!

Just fill out the form………..you’ll be surprised just how easy this will be.!

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The Power of Relationship Coaching – In One Simple Question.

As I write this, I have just finished a conversation with a women who is currently involved in a long distance relationship. She was feeling hurt and let down because of a recent phone call she had with her partner.  It seems she felt he had not been sympathetic enough towards her and in fact had been joking around, this made her feel unloved.  She wanted to ask me if I thought his was ‘normal’ behaviour?

I asked her this one question.

“Did you tell him you were feeling low?”

And after a slight pause, she admitted (with some realisation) that in fact, she had not!

She had assumed he would notice…..women with flipphone

She was completely forgetting she was on the phone and unless she was actually sobbing, the only HINT he may have, is in what she actually says.

Unless its a long term relationship or he’s a trained listener or psychic, there is little chance he would pick up on her mood.

Suddenly, this one question had changed the entire outcome of her conversation with her partner as she realised, he did not know how she was feeling. Perhaps he did love her after all 🙂

This is the Power of Coaching!

This is not an isolated incident, we all do this, especially women.  We assume Continue reading “The Power of Relationship Coaching – In One Simple Question.” →

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Relationship On The Rocks? 7 Questions To Ask Yourself.

Should i go or should i stay now?

Relationships should not be constant hard work!

If you are finding that every interaction has you working hard to make sure you don’t say or do the wrong thing, or that you are constantly trying to find ways to please your partner? Then it may just be time to stop!

Partnerships should be fun, loving, caring & trusting.

Yes relationships need work from time to time, but not continually! If you are in constant work mode in your relationship, then you really don’t have one, you have a job! An exhausting one at that. Continue reading “Relationship On The Rocks? 7 Questions To Ask Yourself.” →

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How To Keep Your Man

Relationship or Dictatorship?

So you found him, hooked him and now you just have to hang on to him. Isn’t that how girls are supposed to think?………...NO?

Then, how come in this supposedly enlightened age, I hear from so many young women who are thinking and acting this way?

Why is it young women feel its up to them to make the sacrifices in a relationship?  Why do they feel its up to them to adjust, give up their friends and family, give up going out socially, wear what they are told and absolutely NEVER ever look in the direction of another man?

For many young women it seems anything goes when it comes to keeping their man.  They will quite literally do all they can to hang on to him……what ever the situation.

Its seem to matter not how this man is actually treating them, as long as they can call him “my man” its okay. They will forgive him any and everything. Prostrate themselves and endure all manner of abuse in order to keep him……….why?

Of course some would say there is probably a psychological reason for this behaviour relating to their families or upbringing but I feel its deeper than that. This submissive behaviour cannot all be written off as an “abused past or childhood experience”, it seems more widespread than that.

There seems to be a deep-seated inadequacy. No matter how loud these women may talk, no matter how educated they may get or how high they climb the corporate ladder, many young women still expect to have to bend to the will of their man; AND, once they have him, they will do whatever it takes to keep him.

So what do I say when asked “How do I keep my man from leaving?”

I reply “First you have to find him, and to do this, you have to find yourself”!

You need to have a strong sense of self. To know what you think and feel about major issues, from rearing children to taxes. Because to move forward with a man you need to either think alike or be able to discuss your differences and agree on an outcome, without anyone feeling trampled on.

Neither of you should ever feel afraid to express your opinion, because if you are, that is how YOU begin to lose the relationship and yourself.

If you are in a relationship that is slowly taking away all that is you, then it is not a healthy relationship and no matter how frightening, how terrified of being on your own you may be, you must leave it. There is simply no future in any relationship that requires one of the parties to change who they are or live in a fearful way!

Yes there are adjustments to make, things to get used to about each other but if you are being over ruled all the time or feel you no longer have an opinion or are being manipulated, then its time to get out!

The number 1 rule for any relationship is:-

“Both parties must have the freedom to regulate their own behaviour! “

Without this, you do not have a Relationship, you have a Dictatorship.

So instead of asking how you keep your man………….ask yourself….“Do I want to keep him and why?”

Coach Lin

Note: I am a certified life coach who has been with her husband for 39 years. I have two children and five grandchildren, so have leant much about keeping relationships alive and well. If you are in need of help, please contact me. I can help:-


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January A Killer Month For Relationships!

Relationships

January is a killer month in the northern hemisphere! Not only do more people die this month but so do more marriages, partnerships and indeed relationships of all kinds.

Its that time of year when the stress and strain of yet another family christmas adds to our already stressed existence and we can soon find ourselves pushed to our limits.

We have been struggling all year to keep it together and then comes Christmas, into which we put so much hope and effort that even a small incident can ballon into a major event. Parents fighting with children, siblings with siblings and partners being pushed to overload. Add to that a bout of flu or a mishap and often the strain on a partnership that is already in trouble is simply too much and it ..just implodes. An argument that at any other time of the year may have been a normal squabble and easily overcome, can turn into a slanging match like no other, where insults and hurtful comments abound. The type of argument that just pushes us to the point of no return.

Family feuds also tend to erupt over the holiday with many fracturing seemingly beyond repair. January can be a sad time of year for sure.

So what can we do about it? How do we stop the inevitable? How do we survive the post Christmas fall out? How do we survive January?

Well I am not sure we can avoid it all, but I think we can certainly lessen the severity of the problems with a little planning and insight.

Along with all the rushing around preparing for the Christmas holiday (which is exhausting for most of us), we also need to be aware that in the northern hemisphere we are in the midsts of winter we are cold and *sun deprived! This leads to a multitude of very physical issues such as depression, decreased immunity and disease. Add to that the fact that we tend to eat and drink too much of the wrong things over the holiday and you have a receipt for disaster waiting to happen.

However, before we go slamming doors and packing suitcases, I feel we need to take time out. Time to get ourselves back to normal. Try not to act on that argument now, sit with it for a while and remember that the other person was probably also in a stressed place.

TAKE A BREATH! and let things settle.

Making life decisions in January is not a good idea, you are not yourself right now and you may just regret it for the rest of your life!

So don’t have that conversation yet, get back to eating & drinking healthy; start taking *D3 now (it will improve your mood believe me); catch up on sleep; get some fresh air when ever you can.

Get to that place where you feel like you are in control again.

Then and only then, should you begin to look back at that row and decide if it really was as bad as it felt at the time. Arrange to talk about it, tell the other person(s) how it made you feel or why you said what you did, admit if you were wrong and apologise for any hurtful comments.

If you are going to break up then let it be for the right reasons, not because you both said or did hurtful things at a time when you were not at your best. If you cant have that conversation, try writing it or think about getting professional help.

Ideally a relationship should not end with the slamming of doors AND not in January!

Good luck
Coach Lin

* D3 which our skin absorbs from the sun helps to keep us upbeat as well as improving our bones & immunity. For more on D3

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