You may be familiar with the Movie Shirley Valentine about a bored house wife in the UK who spends her days talking to her kitchen wall because …………..well…….because its there really. Fed up with her lot, Shirley decides one day to take off to Greece on her own, for a break. If you’ve seen the movie you will know that Shirley gets more than a break from her UK life and marriage…….she finds herself…..and this changes everything!
So is this a solution for us all?
Run off and find a beach to sit on, while we contemplate our life and future. Maybe, for some it is exactly what is needed. Continue reading “Doing a Shirley Valentine!”
Today’s blog is coming to you from the sunny shores of the Mexican Yucatan Peninsular 🙂
I am here for the next month, hopefully longer. I am not on vacation as such but for health reasons I have become a ‘Snowbird‘ escaping the Canadian winter, which unfortunately these days, causes me so much pain.
So here I sit, drinking my coffee, looking out at a spectacular sea view as the sun rises slowly from the ocean, bringing its life to us for another day.
Life here pretty much revolves around the passing of the sun.
Few people wear a watch, they simply look up to judge if its time for work or lunch yet. Many of the winter visitors, ‘the snowbirds’, have no idea what day of the week it is. Work is also not hurried, it is often too hot to rush about, so work proceeds at a more sedat but effective pace. Things may take a little longer than many of us are used to, but it gets done and no one has had to burst a blood vessel to do it.
With Stress being the route cause of so much suffering and illness in our corporate world, I think we can learn a thing or two from Mexico, especially the Mayan cultures of the Yucatan. Here life is a gift, not to be squandered. It should be treasured and enjoyed, not raced through at breakneck speed in search of the next material item we have been told we need.
Don’t get me wrong they work hard here, but work is not their life, they do not judge themselves by what they do. Sure most could do with more money, most are inadequately paid and their lives tough but they smile readily and like to joke around at any opportunity.
With the ever growing tourist industry, rapidly taking over the coastal villages, my fear for the Yucatan is that our ways will infiltrate them. That they will slowly begin to need ‘the stuff’ we have and that will erode a way of being that impresses me. This makes me feel guilty for being here but I also know our money helps bring them many of the basics a human needs to survive. Without the money our culture brings the Yucatan would be a much more difficult place to live for the local populace.
We cannot stop this flow now, too many need us here, an entire industry dependant on foreigners has evolved. Yes, a lot of the profit is not staying in this country and I wish that was different but for the local people this is all they have right now. There are a lot of people like myself, who see this and make an effort to directly support the locals, not the industry but its a long way from being fair.
I for one love my time in this magical part of the world and I want to continue to come here. I just hope the price paid by the local population is not too high. I do see changes in the yonger people. I just hope they do not devolve into the needy material driven society, that many of us are all too familiar with and running from.
I truly hope that here, somehow, the Mayan Culture survives the changes.
Musings of a SNOWBIRD who is living the dream.
To contact Coach Lin for help in this or any other life goal, please email email@example.com.
The most common question I am asked about relationships is….
” How do I know if they are the one? “
The truth is, that generally you don’t; certainly not at first. Some of us are lucky and have great instincts that help us out but for most it’s a hit and miss kinda thing, which can end in hurt and rejection. This scares us, so much so, that many of us are unable to take that initial plunge and take the hand being proffered. All sorts of negative thoughts can run through our minds and before we know it, the defense is up and its impenetrable.
So how do we navigate this potential heartbreaking situation? How do we find out if this person is worth risking our heart on? How do we find the courage to let the defenses down? Continue reading “Relationships – Taking A Chance On Love”
Are you interested in being on TV?
Have you been asked to do something for a reward but ‘the something’ you had to do went against your principles or morals?
Would you like to tell your story?
Well then this may interest you. I have been asked by a production company who make serious documentaries, to reach out to my readers. This is not a reality show but a serious documentary about the dilemma’s we often face.
If you feel you would like to know more, then please email me asap at firstname.lastname@example.org
This is a serious proposition.
Could not have said this better myself. Many of the clients who come my way are stuck in this ‘need to blame someone else’ loop. The end result always being that they end up bitter, angry and stuck. Unable to make decisions for or about themselves. It is truly sad and unfortunately quite prolific.
A Utah mother whose daughter was stranded in Cabo as a result of hurricane Odile had the audacity to blame the airline that took her there?
KSL News radio reported yesterday of a mother and her frustration at not hearing from her daughter who was in Cabo for a work related getaway. This mother went on the find fault with the airline for taking her daughter there in the first place, she said that the airlines knew about the pending storm and should never have taken the passengers in the first place.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????
This is a perfect example of the insane opinions that everyone else is to blame for your misfortunes? How about taking responsibility for your own choices and decisions? It has become all to common and easy to blame others for our own stupid choices.
How is the the airlines fault?
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Last night I watched a movie about a young women whose
personality had fractured into 3 distinct people and it
started me thinking about what it is that makes up an adult
What is it that makes you…You or me….Me?
Clearly we All have our different sides, elements of us that
we present to different people for different reasons but how
many different sides or faces of me, does it take to make the
I like to think of these different ‘sides’ of ourselves in
terms of hats. We select to wear different hats for different
occasions, just as our personality pops on a different you
depending on the encounter.
I wear my Mum Hat when with my boys, My Nana Hat with my
grandsons, another for my husband or friends and yet an
entirely different one when working. In fact I could probably
fill a hat store, if I listed them all.
Each time we don a different hat, it is for a reason, a way
for us to cope in a particular situation. My Mum Hat, enables
me to nurture, love & fiercely protect my children; My Work Hat
displays more distance and objectivity; my Husband Hat...well
that one is pretty much the entire store, we’ve been together
so long. 🙂 but i am sure you get my drift.
We have emotional hats too:-
A Rain Hat for example is tough and impenetrable, it protects
us from the wet. So when we wear this we probably feel in need of protection from a situation, its our vulnerable & defensive side.
A Straw Hat we wear on sunny days, perhaps indicating we are in a happy more carefree mode.
These sides of ourselves, these metaphorical hats we wear,
form a coherent personality, swapping in and out as need
be, providing us with the skills we need in any given situation
enabling us to navigate our lives. They are generally not
fractured as they were with the young woman in the movie but
working together to make us a coherent whole.
But who has control?
Surely there has to be a manager of this store, some side of
our personality who decides which hat is being worn and when?
Who is the boss of you?
I suspect for most of us, it is the side we call experience!
The managerial hat of experience has learnt what hat needs to
be worn in each situation and sends you out correctly attired.
So why sometimes do things go wrong?
I feel personality disorders can stem from lack of management
or from mis management. With the young women in the movie, a
significant event in her life had sent her manager into hiding
and there was no longer a coherent whole. Once this happened,
different side / hats start to emerge as separate or distinct
personas, each vying for a spot in the hot seat.
To a lesser degree, I feel that this can happen to us all.
Have there not been times in your life when you don’t feel like
you (the manager) has control? Have we all not experienced
times when one or other of our emotions or hats takes over
management and screws us up?
Perhaps the Helmet of Fear keeps you from doing something or
encourages you to run? And because fear is a basic human
emotion, it is strong and suppresses all other sides in doing
so? But Fear is not a good manager and makes bad decisions.
It dominates and does not allow other hats to come forth so we are now trapped wearing a hat that is inappropriate for other situations. We end up becoming stuck inside the protection of our helmet. Once fear gains a foothold, its a tough hat to penetrate or remove. Its only interest is survival of self at a very basic level.
I feel that all hats have their place, we need the facade, the different faces to navigate our world. However when the wrong side of you shows up at the wrong occasion…….problems usually ensue. Keeping control of the many sides of our personality is not always an easy task and sometimes it can become just too difficult and problems begin. Certainly a key event in our lives, or perhaps just a long drawn out stressful situation, something that stresses us beyond our ability to cope, can trigger a lost of control.
And Our manager goes on strike!
NOTE: I am not a psychiatrist these are just my thoughts based on my study of physcology, observations and my experience as a coach. Many people come to me stuck inside the Helmet of Fear, if that is you, or if you feel you are losing control, please know there is help available. You do not have to manage the situation alone.
When I first decided to try coaching via email or indeed Instant Messaging, I was not sure how it would work out. But I wanted to reach a global audience and this seemed like the best way to do so. To cut a long story short, it has been an amazing success!
Not only has it allowed me to truly offer a Global Coaching Service but it has allowed people who would not normally have access to help and advice, to get it! Right from their smartphone.
For example a man wrote to me saying his family was on the verge of breaking up and he did not know what to do? He has tried everything he could think of, with no luck . He gave me details of his situation and I soon saw where the problem may lay. It took just one email from me, with a suggestion I thought he had overlooked, to get them back on track. He wrote saying “I know she is frustrated that I didn’t understand before but it’s already starting to go uphill again 🙂 thank you so much for all your help“.
Or a young mother who came to me at a time when she wanted to ‘start a business‘ and she was having issues with family over her plan and was very disillusioned. Again I was able to make a few suggestions that prompted her to write back saying “Well, I’m happy to say that you were right about my Mom and Dad, bang on! With this issue out of the way, she was able to make a plan and get on with what she really wanted to do. This took just 3 emails to achieve.
I am not saying that I have all the answers…………but I do have one thing these people didn’t, an outside perspective.
With today’s more Global world and the break-up of the extended family, we are all finding ourselves adrift somewhat. Where once we could run to grandmother for help and advice, we no longer can. So where do we find that person who will not only listen to us but also help us solve our problems.? Where can we find another being who wants to and can actually help, without breaking the bank?
Well my name is Lin, I am a Wife, Mother, Nana & Life Coach & I am here ready to help you turn that frown into a SMILE!
Just fill out the form………..you’ll be surprised just how easy this will be.!
I’ve been pondering the meaning of the word MOTIVATION.
What motivates an F1 driver to risk their life to drive a car fast, or an athlete to push that bit harder in training? What gets a working mum/mom through her more than hectic day or gets a disabled person out of bed in the morning? We might say that they are all Motivated but is this the same thing for each of them?
Certainly we can group motivators into categories, for example the F1 driver and the Athlete may both be driven by their competitive need to be the best, but the athlete may also want to be the fittest and the driver the fastest. The mother may be motivated by income / career or the desire to be the best mother in the world & the disabled person by the need to prove everyone wrong.
This one word seems to cover a whole world of thoughts and feelings, all of them different in each of us.
Clearly, we all have intricate and different needs or desires we need to acknowledge, in order to be able to switch our motivation ON. Finding them, is not always easy because we also like to feel good about our motivators and the truth is, they are not always things we will admit to.