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Helping Hand – Life Coaching

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How to Leave the Past Behind!

It is not uncommon for people to turn to a life coach for help in moving forward because they feel stuck and unable to motivate themselves.  More often than not their current impasse is rooted in an incident in their past and it is anchoring them emotionally to that reality.

The first thing we will have to work on together, is identifying that root cause and finding a way to free the negative emotional ties to that event.  Most will know what it is but simply can’t let it go.  It’s a nagging feeling of hurt, anger or humiliation, which at the time was powerful enough to imprint on them to such an extent, it’s always near the surface ready to colour the current situation.

As humans we forget most of our daily thoughts, we would go insane if we did not, however when its attached to a powerful feeling, it can stay with us…..we remember events that have strong feelings attached, the most.

So we need to change HOW WE FEEL about that negative event.

  • Initially I might ask a client WHY they feel they need to let go of this?  Knowing your reasons for needing to free yourself of this anchor, is an important motivator.
  • Then HOW would you be different, if you no longer had this negative feeling holding on to you and your decisions?
  • Followed by WHAT will it be like to live FREE of this?

 

Once you can identify the above, it is much easier to start to implement the more practical daily steps towards a more positive emotional you.

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Coach Lin

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The Secret to Success is NO Secret!

The secret of success, is that, it is no secret.

We all know intuitively how to succeed we have simply let the world suffocate this wisdom. We have become accustomed to hearing what others tell us and letting these words guide our choices. Making decisions based on social pressure and someone else’s truth. The result of this, is a world full of lost souls trying to make their lives work against overwhelming odds and indeed their own inner self.

It is no surprise to me that so many people are seriously ill, depressed, or suffering from anxiety and stress. Taking the wrong path through your life, is a constant strain on your body and mind, even if you are not aware of it yet, problems will arise.

How many of you have asked yourselves the questions?

  • “What am I doing here?”
  • “Why am I doing this job I hate?”
  • “Why do I stay in this relationship?”
    Or the classic
  • “What’s my purpose in life?”.

The answer is simple, the solution more difficult.

Clearly you got to this place by making decisions that were not right for you! So the answer is to ‘make better decisions’. However to do that, you must first find yourself again.

The Solution is to begin the process of getting back in touch with who YOU are, so you can listen to your own wisdom. NO one on this planet can tell you what that is, your wisdom is yours alone and when heeded, your life will begin to fall into place as you take the path YOU were meant to.

When you are on the right path, decisions are easy, effortless in fact, things just slot into place as they should.

Getting on this road is not easy for most of us, we tend to have a lot invested in our current way of ‘being’ in the world; our very character may have been moulded by our choices so far. Finding the real you tucked away deep under the camouflage can take a little bit of time and effort but once you do…..its like being given back the keys to your real life.

My goal for this 60th year of my life, is to help as many people as I can find their way back, so :-

IF you are struggling in an unhappy place?
IF you can no longer take the ride your life has become?
IF you are ready to take up the challenge of change…..?

Then I hope your next step is towards me, because together we are strong! Together, you too can succeed.

ARE YOU READY TO SUCCEED?

Lin@helpinghand-lifecoaching.ca

 

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Are You Worth It?

A question we rarely ask ourselves but we often make life decisions based on our perception of this.  We rush headlong on with our life, unhappy and miserable, wanting to change it but never really committing to making a change…………..why? Continue reading “Are You Worth It?” →

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Never be too grown up to play! 

How many time in your life have you been told to ‘Grow UP!’ or indeed how many times have you said those words……and what do we mean by this? 

Clearly its a comment on behaviour that is seen as ‘child like’ or ‘immature’ in the eyes of the sayer……..but is it? To them perhaps the actions of the accused are seen to be unacceptable but do they have the right to judge that? Probably not, because even the saying of this indicates that person too may need to heed their own advice.

So what does ‘Growing up’ really mean?  Continue reading “Never be too grown up to play! “ →

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Are You Selfish?

Are you SELFISH?  And is this a bad thing?

I am sure most of you would agree that we think of selfish people in a bad way, in fact it is often a complaint I hear from clients about their partners behaviour. We can attribute many qualities into the word selfish, such as inconsiderate, arrogance, self obsessed; generally words that we would not want to be used about ourselves.

So to be thought ‘selfish’ is not something we generally want! 

And this is where I often come up against resistance when working with clients, because at the route of much unhappiness, is the feeling of no control & lack of confidence, caused by a deeply ingrained need not to be a selfish person.  And in the case of girls and women, this gets amplified by the role of care-giver we are encouraged to play from early in life.  We give up our own views and desires to appear generous, kind or a team player so as to avoid the selfish tag.

So why do I consider this to be a problem? Continue reading “Are You Selfish?” →

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Motivation – What Yours?

I’ve been pondering the meaning of the word MOTIVATION.

What motivates an F1 driver to risk their life to drive a car fast, or an athlete to push that bit harder in training? What gets a working mum/mom through her more than hectic day or gets a disabled person out of bed in the morning?  We might say that they are all Motivated but is this the same thing for each of them?

Certainly we can group motivators into categories, for example the F1 driver and the Athlete may both be driven by their competitive need to be the best, but the athlete may also want to be the fittest and the driver the fastest. The mother may be motivated by income / career or the desire to be the best mother in the world & the disabled person by the need to prove everyone wrong.

This one word seems to cover a whole world of thoughts and feelings, all of them different in each of us.

Clearly, we all have intricate and different needs or desires we need to acknowledge, in order to be able to switch our motivation ON.  Finding them, is not always easy because we also like to feel good about our motivators and the truth is, they are not always things we will admit to.

Sometimes our motivation is in conflict with our morals. 

Continue reading “Motivation – What Yours?” →

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