A question we rarely ask ourselves but we often make life decisions based on our perception of this.  We rush headlong on with our life, unhappy and miserable, wanting to change it but never really committing to making a change…………..why?

Somehow, we seem to find it easy to feel as if our current miserable circumstances are in someway our penance for some exaggerated bad deed or a misrepresented personal flaw or fault.   That somehow, we are not likable or good enough to have a happy life?

That we simply are not worth it!

These feelings of low self esteem come from a variety of sources, in a variety of ways, to a variety of people but at the root, is the feeling that ones life should be about hard work and drudgery………..! We feel that we need to be very special people to get anything more; to be happy, to be rich, to be fulfilled is something only lucky people get. So we plod on, feeling guilty because we want more but we don’t believe we actually deserve more, we are not special enough.


Most of us know in that sensible part of our head, that when unhappy we need to do something to make us happy………easy right? Or it should be.  It is however the stumbling block for the majority of the population. While our heads tell us one thing, our feelings are deep rooted in a more negative other, so there is conflict. And while this conflict exists any attempt at an improvement is doomed to fail. Without our belief system behind us, we quickly sink back into the status quo of the now.

I however got lucky, truly I did, I got Cancer!.

I was no different to most of you, it took a battle with breast cancer to make me realise how much I wanted to live and how hard I was going to have to fight to stay in the game.

For the first time in my then 43 years, I had to put me first.

I had to believe that I was:-

  1. important enough to demand all my time and attention
  2. that I was important enough to be saved.
  3. That I was important enough to be selfish.

I knew there could be no room for doubt or second guessing myself in this fight………….I was going to win!

That was 15 years ago now and the road has been a rocky one with some life long adjustments I needed to make.  I have however stayed strong knowing that every change I was forced to make, I would do so with vigour and I would do so, with a belief in myself and the outcome.

From this fight I have learnt that we are truly powerful beings, with the strength of mind to do pretty much anything we want…………..