If in doubt…………….then don’t!

I can still hear my grandmother uttering these words as she was explaining to us ‘young un’s’, how to tell if something was naughty or not.  “If” she would say, “you feel something is not quite right or it makes you feel icky in any way, then DONT DO IT!!”

Grandmother was born and raised in another time, one where respect for rules and manners were of the highest importance. She would think nothing of washing your mouth out with soap (very unpleasant), if you broke any of them and this included such things as a disrespectful glance or shrug.

You simply did what my grandmother said…………no questions asked.

If in doubt…………….then don’t!

Is as true for adults as it is children.  We all have that little nagging thought of doubt when we are doing something we know we probably shouldnt…….right?

We can have doubt over important decisions ‘should I change job?’  ‘should I have a baby?’ or everyday small ones; you know the little internal conversations we have with ourselves when we are buying something we can’t really afford, or having another helping of pie we really don’t need.

Doubt is in our genetics, it is honed in our childhoods and evolves via our experiences throughout our lives. It is our protector, our moral compass and guide.  It helps us navigate this complicated social world with as little harm as possible.

I know for some people struggling with a decision; it is hard to know if it is doubt stopping them or fear? …………….However I feel generally, that fear can stem from doubt & doubt from fear, so really they are basically the same. Something deep in your sub-conscience is warning you, to not proceed……..!

If in doubt…………….then don’t!

Some of us suppress doubt better than others and proceed anyway.

In fact some people are so good at suppressing, that it’s as if they no longer have a conscience at all. But for most of us, we know when we have crossed our line and as a result, we will feel guilt, which is the real punisher AND make no mistake, Guilt can ruin lives and Guilt can Kill!

(Guilt can lead to additions, self loathing and even suicide).

Of course there is always a time when we need to override our instincts, to ignore the doubt or update the parameters but do so knowingly. Being aware that you are crossing your line, even if it’s a small one, is the difference between conscious decision and the inevitable…………guilt.

If in doubt…………….then don’t!

I have found these 5 little words have helped me to make the right choices big or small, in my life and importantly, at the right time (not to mention avoid the carbolic soap).:) So next time you hear that little tap, tap, tap of nagging doubt, give it an airing; listen to yourself and if you find you have no reason to negate this doubt, heed it and know that:-

When there is NO doubt, it is indeed the right thing to do and the right time to do it!

Coach Lin

Making Decisions with Coach Lin