Learn how to stop intrusive thoughts with these techniques

If you’ve been surprised by an upsetting thought that felt like it didn’t belong to you, it may have been intrusive. Perhaps it was a disturbing fear or a violent mental image, and the more you tried to get it out of your head, the more consuming it became.

Intrusive thoughts are like uninvited guests in the sanctuary of your mind. They can catch you off guard, disrupt your day, and cloud your focus. Worst of all, they can make you question yourself and what you think and feel. Understanding how to stop intrusive thoughts can be a powerful way to regain control and enjoy more peace of mind.

What are intrusive thoughts?

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, repetitive thoughts, images, or impulses that intrude on your mental space. They can be a symptom of anxiety disorders like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). 

However, those without disorders can also experience intrusive thoughts. According to research published in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, they may sound like language or inner speech, particularly for those who routinely experience them. 

While these compulsions feel unsettling, they usually don’t reflect your values or desires. Intrusive thoughts are often the exact opposite of what you would do, say, or believe. They’re involuntary, unexpected, unwelcome, and nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, a sense of shame is what deters many people from seeking the help they need.

Types of intrusive thoughts with examples

Intrusive thoughts can span a wide variety of topics but often involve disturbing ideas or fears like imagining swerving your car into traffic or saying something inappropriate.

In one study, the Oxford Cognitive Therapy Centre asked 293 individuals, none of whom had a diagnosed mental health condition, to report examples of intrusive thoughts. The most common included concerns about a home intruder or leaving the stove on. Rare intrusive thoughts included violent things like robbing a bank or harming a family member. 

Some of those examples included thoughts of:

1. A home invasion 
2. Leaving the stove on
3. Sexual encounters
4. Car accidents
5. Fights with family members
6. Arguments with strangers
7. Getting very sick
8. Harming animals
9. Harming oneself
10. Embarrassing accidents
11. Damaging property
12. Infidelity
13. Shoplifting
14. Using offensive language

A study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychopathology found that spiraling, ruminating, or repetitively thinking intrusive thoughts keeps feelings of distress alive. Learning how to stop intrusive thoughts may help reduce these symptoms, which make it harder to feel better or let go, especially if experiencing symptoms of depression.

How to stop intrusive thoughts

When you recognize and label intrusive thoughts, you take a crucial first step toward stopping them and controlling your mind. 

• Label your thoughts: When you have an intrusive thought, tell yourself it's “just a thought” to help you separate yourself from it. For example, if you worry, “What if I mess up in the meeting?” acknowledge it by thinking, “That's just an anxious thought.”
• Understand thoughts are automatic and not decided by you: Remind yourself that thoughts happen on their own and don’t reflect who you are. If an unwanted image appears in your mind, tell yourself, “This thought popped up by itself; it doesn’t define me.”
• Accept the thoughts: Let intrusive thoughts be there without trying to push them away or fight them. If you keep thinking about a past mistake, gently say to yourself, “It’s OK that I’m having this thought right now.”
• Practice letting go of the thoughts: After noticing an intrusive thought, choose to shift your attention to something else. If you trigger a thought that has you imagining fighting with your spouse, you might start cooking or go for a walk to focus on something else.
• Try different grounding techniques: Use senses like touch, sight, or sound to bring your attention back to the present. If you’re overwhelmed by thoughts, focus on how your feet feel on the ground and listen to the sounds around you.
• Use meditation: Practice being mindful by noticing your thoughts without judging them. During meditation, if a distracting thought comes up, notice it. Then gently return your attention to your breath.
• Challenge thoughts with facts: Look at the intrusive thought logically and see if it matches the real evidence. If you think, “No one likes me,” remind yourself of times when friends reached out to spend time with you.
• Seek professional help if needed: Reach out to a mental health professional for advice that’s specific to you. If these thoughts make daily life hard, meeting with a therapist can provide support and ways to cope.

General practices in mindfulness and self-awareness may also be effective for managing intrusive thoughts. Try allowing them to exist without judgment, visualizing them as passing clouds, or using grounding techniques to distract yourself.

What causes intrusive thoughts?

Intrusive thoughts are driven by brain activity in regions responsible for cognitive control and inner speech.

• Right DLPFC (dorsolateral prefrontal cortex): This area, located toward the front of the brain, is crucial for stopping unwanted thoughts before they fully take over our attention. As shown by the above study from Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, when we try to suppress a thought, the DLPFC usually stays active. In people with more intrusive thoughts, the DLPFC shows lower activity.
• Left striatum: The striatum, a part of the brain deep within the cerebral hemispheres, is responsible for automatic thoughts and emotion processing. It filters which thoughts or actions move forward. When the left striatum is more active, the brain’s natural “gating” or filtering mechanisms are unbalanced, and more intrusive thoughts break through.

When the DLPFC is less active, and the left striatum is more active, unwanted thoughts tend to recur as inner speech or mental “chatter,” making it hard to prevent intrusive thoughts from surfacing. This is more likely to happen when you’re: 

• Stressed or tired: Chronic stress, fatigue, or lack of sleep can weaken the function of the DLPFC, making it harder to control and organize thoughts.
• Remembering something automatically: For some people, certain thoughts or memories might have become “automatic,” almost like a mental habit. Intrusive thoughts could become a symptom or learned response to these automatic thoughts.
• Feeling guilty or worried: If the intrusive thoughts are tied to strong emotions, like anger, the brain might prioritize them as “important” and allow them to recur more often.

Some ways of coping and learning how to stop intrusive thoughts, like forcefully suppressing them, can actually make them more persistent and distressing over time.

How not to cope with intrusive thoughts

The way you respond to intrusive thoughts has a great deal of influence over their impact. While there are effective strategies for managing these unwanted visitors, there are also pitfalls to sidestep. 

Knowing what not to do when an intrusive thought occurs is just as important. Here are some things to avoid when addressing intrusive thoughts:

• Don’t engage with them: Ruminating or engaging with intrusive thoughts inadvertently reinforces their presence. Validating or dwelling on your unwanted thoughts allows them to occupy more space in your daily life. Acknowledge that the thought arose and allow it to pass by without judgment.
• Don’t push them away: It might sound counterintuitive, but one study published in Behaviour Research and Therapy proved that attempting to suppress unwanted thoughts magnifies them. This phenomenon, known as “white bears” or “ironic processes,” refers to the idea that the more you try to avoid a thought, the more it comes to the forefront. For instance, if you try not to think of a white bear, it’s likely the image of a white bear will dominate your thoughts. Similarly, pushing away intrusive thoughts gives them more power. Instead, allowing them to flow in and out of your mind and acknowledging them without judgment can diminish their intensity over time.
• Don’t seek deeper meanings: Attempting to find profound or symbolic interpretations for intrusive thoughts can cause further distress. Delving deeply into them, especially without the guidance of a mental health professional, can exacerbate feelings of anxiety, guilt, or shame. Intrusive thoughts often don’t mean anything at all and don’t define your character or intent, so try to stop overthinking. Instead of seeking meaning, focus on coping techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), practicing mindfulness, or meditating to provide relief.

If you know these pitfalls and approach intrusive thoughts with a nonjudgmental mindset, you can maintain a balanced mental state even when faced with unwanted musings. 

It won’t always be easy, but embracing the right strategies helps alleviate the impact of unwanted thoughts and guides you toward well-being. With time, these practices will lessen the impact of intrusive thoughts on your daily life and guide you toward mental well-being.

When to seek professional help

Intrusive thoughts, while common, are sometimes a sign of neurotic behavior or an underlying mental health condition or mental illness such as depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. 

If intrusive thoughts are disrupting your life or causing you ongoing harm or distress, it might be worth reaching out to a professional coach or therapist. Here are some signs that you should consider coaching or therapy:

• You’re experiencing persistent and distressing thoughts that interfere with daily life
• You think your obsessive thoughts might be tied to anxiety, OCD, PTSD, or depression
• You have compulsions just to alleviate the distress caused by intrusive thoughts
• There are recurring violent or disturbing themes in your thoughts
• You have difficulty managing or controlling these thoughts on your own

One study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology found that CBT is effective in reducing obsessive thoughts. A mental health professional, especially a therapist trained in CBT or exposure and response prevention (ERP), could help identify your thought patterns and provide tools to reduce their impact.

Learning how to stop intrusive thoughts starts with compassion

Learning how to stop intrusive thoughts is a continuous journey. Each effort you make, whether therapy or a self-help technique, may lead to a more peaceful and balanced outlook. By using these techniques and actively learning to stop intrusive thoughts, you can manage them to reduce their impact on your daily life. 

Working on your intrusive thoughts with a coach can help you gain a deeper understanding of your thought patterns and find strategies to manage them.

Learn how to stop intrusive thoughts with a BetterUp Coach to develop resilience and improve your life.